Finishing my degree

OK, so, Im not entirely sure I feel good about this - but I should be proud of myself.

On the 9th, I had my final recital, which marks the end of my degree - finally.

I started studying for it 7 years ago, and it should only have taken 4 years to complete.

During that time, I was hospitalised for 6 months for an eating disorder, took many unplanned interruptions due to depression, battled with dissociation constantly due to PTSD, took part in an 18 month group therapy program (that ran for a full day a week), attended appointments on a weekly basis, and for the most part - I am now a recovered anorexic, and my PTSD and depression are *almost* under control.
I have also had to come to terms with how much my childhood affected me - which was particularly hard due to the fact I have studied music, which is the one area I never ever feel good about - and that has been horrific at times. There were many points where I would cry, go to a rehearsal (and stop crying), cry again, do another rehearsal, cry, go on to perform, cry again, go on to perform, and go home and cry - I have been in states where Ive seriously contemplated suicide, and had to fight for the help.

I have had 2 abusive relationships, numerous bullies, numerous difficult living situations, 2 friends passing away to cancer, my dad being diagnosed with cancer (they originally thought it was terminal, but he was lucky in the end), a court case, and an illegal eviction.

I have battled with the loneliness, the unworthiness, the trust issues. I have had to learn how to assert myself, and find my needs, and I am having to start learning that its OK not to be perfect (this I am struggling with).
I have had to fight for support, Ive had issues with my tutors, Ive been managing severe dyslexia, and been battling to get help from medical people - both for mental, and physical health. I have also been diagnosed with an incurable life-long condition which gives me chronic pain so bad I can't sleep through the night, nor can I often plait my hair, or walk around much.

During so many points in my studies, it would have been easy to drop out. I was desperate to on numerous occasions. I wanted so badly to listen do that part of my head that tells me its ok to destroy myself, or that I was unworthy of carrying on.

But I didnt.

it was so scary for me - it marks the end of the life I was forced into, and the beginning of a very scary unknown. 
It terrifies me to know I will be marked, and judged on it, and the prospect of not getting a first scares the hell out of me - even though I should feel proud even getting to this point.