I got a first

and feel awful.

I can't turn off the old voices, no matter how hard I try, and even though I received a first for my 17000 word major project - 72, I came home and cried.

Wendy was lovely as ever - and supplied many hugs, and the space to talk things through. I felt truly ridiculous, most people would be bouncing off the walls in happiness, and instead I have the 'It could have been a better first if you had of worked harder' tune going round and round and round.

She has said I need more help - and she is right. I need to sort this all out once and for all, but that is one mammoth task.

How do i sift through 26 years of neglect and abuse???

If it had of been physical abuse, or sexual (that came later), then I could understand it better, but the issue with emotional neglect and abuse, is that there is nothing physical - and therefor it is hard to quantify, and hard to have 'proof' of.